It’s That Time Again

I’m back to being depressed with no hope for any betterment.  It’s now been nearly five months since I moved out here, and I still have no job even after going back to trying the software industry.  I’m completely out of money and woefully out of opportunities.

I just don’t know what to do at this point. I don’t even know what’s wrong.  I try following my dreams, and life destroys any and all chances at them.  I try something I’ve done before, and it’s like that opportunity has already completely dried up.

And, of course, I can’t help but think that it’s primarily because I’m trans, which only makes my self-doubt and depression worse.  Was transitioning the right thing for me to do? Was this destined to happen no matter what?  I just don’t know any more.

But if there’s one thing I do know, it’s that I can’t take this for much longer.  Having no money, no job, and no local support is going to kill me one way or another.  Something’s gotta change, and soon.

Before You Decide to Go Hunting Witches

The tragedy in Orlando today is one that hits me close.  My heart goes out to all those who were affected.  And being part of the LGBT community myself, it hurts to see so many hurt and killed just for being like me.

That being said, I’m not out looking for sweeping changes like many others out there just yet.  These people should be remembered first and foremost for who they are and were, and not as another political tool to push the masses one way or the other.  We as a community have been pushed and prodded for others’ political agenda for decades, and this definitely shouldn’t become another one of those times.

I’m going to wait for the report for how he got his assault rifle before throwing myself behind any cause.  Because really, that’s where the point of blame  should go.  An obviously mentally ill person who’s had multiple run-ins with the anti-terrorism task force before should at least be closely monitored if buying an assault weapon, maybe even not allowed to own it in the first place.

If he bought it legally, then we really need to question what should be allowed to lawfully own an assault weapon.  Now, I’m not saying we should ban anything, but instead we should look at the rules for buying one.  Maybe assault weapons should require more extensive background checks and further restrictions on buying them at all if you’ve been suspected of supporting terrorism on multiple occasions.  Maybe firearms should require a mental stability check or something before purchasing them.  We’ve long had problems with mentally unstable people legally acquiring weapons, so maybe it’s time we really look at trying to stop it that way.

If he got it illegally, then we need to question our anti-terror task forces and whether they’re actually doing anything at all.  This guy was questioned by the FBI twice.  There’s no reason this guy should have been able to contact anyone who could illegally give him a weapon with that kind of pressure.  Or maybe it’s just that this task force thing is just wholly incompetent and worthless, which makes me wonder whether we should be giving up our rights  to privacy for something that’s so pointless and expensive.

There is, however, one thing that we can call for now.  We need to stop people from believing that LGBT people are somehow lesser than others, no matter whether under the guise of a religion, a social construct, or just that icky feeling.  The idea that we’re sinful, or we’re weird, or we’re unclean, or whatever, may seem relatively innocent to the average person, but in the mind of someone radical and/or mentally unstable, these little “innocuous” differences can be equated to LGBT people deserving the discrimination and the oppression and the pain and the death.  So please, for the love of whatever you deem holy, stop preaching that we’re not as good as you.  It’s only killing us.


Your Vote for Trump is a Vote Against my Existence

Just going to get this out of the way right now.  Yes, of course I’m a liberal.  Yes, of course i’m not religious.  And yes, of course I could never support a Republican.  Not just because I don’t support their social positions, but because I can’t ethically support any position they run on.

But this post isn’t really about me, it’s about you.

A vote for a Republican in any sense is a vote allowing for the discrimination, persecution, and possible death of me and thousands of others like me.  Do you recall this blog post i wrote about five months ago?  Well, the statistics haven’t changed any.  If anything, they’ve gotten worse.  And now, on top of it all, we’ve got bills and laws popping up in several states, such as North Carolina and my own home state of Indiana, that are bold-facedly discriminating against us under the guise of “protecting children.”  In reality, these laws are just the next generation of bigotry in political form since their fight against gay marriage went against their favor.

Now, you may be saying, “Why does any of this matter?  All of these laws are at the state-level, which Trump can’t touch anyway.  And anyway, Trump came out saying he doesn’t care either way about people being transgender.”  Well, that’s anything but the truth.  The next president may have more say about whether these laws become the norm or unconstitutional than any other future politician.  In the end, it’s the Supreme Court that determines which laws are okay and which are unconstitutional, but the president determines who gets to be on the bench.  And right now, we’ve got one seat already vacant due to Antonin Scalia’s death, and likely another three deaths or retirements within the next four years between Breyer, Kennedy, and Ginsburg, who are all already above the average retirement age for Supreme Court justices.  Given the current unmoving state of Congress, there’s no way that even the current position will be filled before another president comes into the Oval Office.

So now we have the precedent for why this election matters, but why does it matter so much?  Well, the answer is in how the justices tend to side.  Before Scalia’s death, the Supreme court was fairly even on liberals and conservatives, with Antonin Scalia, Clarence Thomas, John Roberts, and Samuel Alito generally voting conservative, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Stephen Breyer, Sonia Sotomayor, and Elena Kagan generally voting liberal, and Anthony Kennedy voting for whichever side he felt like for the day.  But the next president could end up filling up to four of those positions, two on each side.  That could create a huge swing in how the Supreme Court decides on cases, and that swing could be in place for a long, long time.  We’re likely not to see another replacement for ten more years.  We’re going to have to live with the Supreme Court that this next president creates for up to three more presidents after that, which could be pretty scary if they uphold something detrimental.

I guess I really haven’t yet answered the question of why not Trump yet, so I’ll get to that now.  Although Trump may not always side with his constituents, and although he may not uphold all the social aspects of the right, he’s still a Republican, and at this point, generally holds a conservative view of politics.  Those four positions are likely to be filled by conservative judges if he appoints them.  And that will massively swing the current position of the Supreme Court to two liberal and six conservative, led by a hyper-conservative chief justice.  With that much of an advantage, there’s likely no way that those bathroom laws get struck down, and they’re likely to go on for ten years before they get tested again.

And what’s to stop those states from going further once they’ve won that debate?  It’s illegal for me to step into my own bathroom at that point, why not make it illegal to be transgender at all?  It wouldn’t be that difficult to step from this to not being able to change birth markers, or requiring to disclose private information when applying for jobs, or willfully allowing for discrimination in the workplace or as a renter based on preferred gender.  There’s no way in hell laws forbidding this kind of stuff nationally get through with a Republican president, and it’s likely those like the bathroom laws even get put into place nationwide.

I’m already having difficulty living my life as it is.  Laws like these are only making things worse by requiring me to rule out certain places to live for my own livelihood.  And with many people like me already at a difficult position in life, it isn’t like we can just move.  We’ll be forced to live in state-sanctioned persecution, unable to even have the simplest of personal freedoms, the right to a fucking bathroom.  Being transgender is already hard.  Don’t make it harder under the guise of “making America great again.”  Because is it really great when you’re calling for the active oppression of your own compatriots?